GUIDE: Ten Barriers to Effective Listening

Being a good listener is as important a communication skill as being a good speaker.  Described are ten poor listening habits which have been identified as the most common barriers to effective listening. Following each description is a remedy for overcoming or reducing that barrier.

Slow Starters

Problem

Do you assume in advance that the subject will be uninteresting and unimportant, and they steer your mind in another direction even before the speaker begins.

Remedy

Give the speaker at least a few minutes of concentration when he begins. If you are giving up valuable time to hear him, be selfish enough to collect dividends in the form of new ideas he may have. It has been said that in all the world there is no such thing as an uninteresting subject; there are only uninteresting speakers.

The Critic

Problem

Do you begin by mentally criticizing the speaker's delivery? Possibly you don't tune in on the subject because you are too busy adding up the physical faults of the speaker and wondering why he rates your attention.

Remedy

Remember that brain power and instantaneous charm are seldom attributes of the same person. People with profound ideas to share may not qualify as television performers, but their message usually out weights their delivery. If you concentrate on the words, you can soon forget your first impression of the speaker.

The Debates

Problem

In a discussion, do you become over stimulated when you question or oppose an idea and, consequently, hear only part of the idea? For example, when you listen to a message that contradicts your most deeply-held beliefs, opinions, or convictions, do you become stimulated by many factors other than the speaker's words? Suppose we are arguing with someone-especially about something that is "near and dear" to us. What are we usually doing while the other person is making his point? Probably not listening for understanding. We may be planning a rebuttal to what the other person is saying, or formulating a question.

Remedy

Next time you get into an argument, stop the discussion and institute this rule: Each person may speak up with his own thoughts only after he has first stated the ideas and feelings of the previous speaker. Any distortion may be corrected immediately by the original speaker.

The Simple Facts

Problem

Do you listen only for simple, factual data and want to be spared the "details"?

Remedy

The so-called details often are compared of principles and the main ideal. The facts make sense only when they support such principles. To remember dates and statistics is unimportant if the main point is lost.

Note Taking Mania

Problem

Do you try to take notes of everything you hear in a conference or at a convention? But in your busy efforts to write down what's said, you hear only one-third of it.

Remedy

Be a flexible note-taker. Within a few minutes you can tell how well the speaker has organized his main points and supporting facts. Adapt your note-taking system to this pattern.

The Fakers

Problem

Do you pretend to give the speaker your undivided attention at the start of the talk? Do you, you tune the speaker in or out at will, but retain an attentive facial expression?

Remedy

Good listening is not a relaxed and passive activity at all, say the experts. Good listening is characterized by a quickened heartbeat, faster blood circulation, and slight rise in body temperature. It consume energy and requires hard work. Mere visual attentiveness isn't listening.

The Uninvolved

Problem

Do you permit others to speak inaudibly or to give fragmentary information?

Remedy

Be an aggressive listener. Pin down the speaker when he is unclear. As for more information when it is necessary. This kind of eagerness on your part is not rudeness but flattery--you are anxious to get the speaker's entire thought.

Too Technical

Problem

Do you tune out any message that borders on the technical?

Remedy

This is a technical world, and we've got to meet it with technical knowledge acquired through technical listening and study. We all are associated with products or services that require some explaining. To the person who knows nothing of your commodity, your explanation may sound technical, even if it's simple. It is likely that technical-sounding messages contain information which is new to you.

Hot Buttons

Problem

Are you allergic to certain words or phrases that you find distasteful.

Remedy

Don't let them get in your way. Pet peeves against certain hackneyed phrases or slang words may cause you to miss important or useful information. Listen to the speaker on his terms, not yours.

The Dreamer

Problem

Does your mind wander?

Remedy

Capitalize on thought speed. Most persons talk at a speed of about 125 words per minute; most of us could think easily at four times that rate. It is difficult -- almost painful -- to try to slow down our thinking speed. Thus, we normally have about 400 words of thinking time to spare during every minute a person talks to us.

Source: Adapted from a handout received at a Toastmasters Club many years ago.